I am tired. I am tired of people leaving, I am tired of kids running around in the veranda screaming at the top of their lungs. I am tired of ordering in food. I am tired of fruit juices. I am tired of milk. I am tired of animals. I am tired of reading. I am tired of medicines. I am tired of everything. I am tired of people taking advantage of my empathy, I am tired of being cheated because I trusted someone. I am tired of not being able to sleep well, and I am tired of feeling bloated all the time. I wish I could throw up everything that makes me who I am. I wish I could disappear. I hate the traffic and I hate the traffic stops. I hate the people driving with their vehicles honking all the time. I hate the yellow and black speed-breakers over which the bloody auto drivers drive over, always jolting my spine. I am tired of being nice for other people. I am tired of putting their needs in front of mine. I am tired of everything. I am tired, tired, tired, tired. I am tired of my hobbies, and I am tired of my reading, and I am tired of my watching movies and I am tired of listening to music. I am tired of waking up and I am tired of the rains and the slush and the drudgery it brings. I am tired of the leaves bristling in the wind and I am tired of it when the fucking roof leaks in unexpected places and the fucking rain water—the filthy water of Bombay the fucking city of fucking dreams—fall down on me.
I am tired of being on whatsapp. I am fucking tired of everything. I am tired of being online. I am tired of the computer. I am tired and done with the phone. I want to break it into three halves. I want to fucking ****** the **** who are running around screaming. I am done talking to the therapist and I am done being fucked over by modafinil and sertraline and whatever the other fucks I was consuming over the past four plus years. I am fucking tired of wanting to disappear and I am fucking tired of people being assholes.